Taking it One Day at a Time

Everyday is an adventure. Will this be a good day when I have some energy and can function as a wife and mother? Or will this be a day to go easy on myself and strive to endure until things improve? I am in my 6th cycle of Chemo. Velcade, Dex and Thalidomide. Half way if I can stand it. I have been trying to track a pattern as to what days I can expect to feel good. It seems to be somewhat erratic lately. My Doctor thinks it might be my bodies reaction as I come off the steroid the days following chemo. I am going to try a gradual let down and approach and see if that might prevent the big crashes and pain I have been dealing with. Cross your fingers. The crashes are not fun! My husband has to convince me that I can do this when I start thinking about just quitting the rest of treatment. He reminds me to take it one day at a time. Wow have I got a lot to learn.. but cancer is a very patient teacher and my perspectives of many things have changed and deepened. So I am continuing to trudge along. Looking forward to improved health and appreciating the good things and wonderful people in my life.

O Christmas Tree

This is our Christmas tree. It is crooked. It has fallen down three times. After the last “timber” incident Spencer exclaimed, “There is always something happening around our house!” Ain't that the truth! A year ago, a few months after I was diagnosed with cancer I was shocked to discover that life went on. My world continued to spin. (Albeit on a slightly crooked axis.) Cancer did not exempt me and my family from the ups and downs of life. The car still broke down. The fridge needed repairs. The kids still had homework and missing assignments, and the finances became a little slimmer just like everyone else. I discovered that, like Spencer said, there continues to be something always happening at our house. I think that’s called life. Our Christmas tree makes me smile. It is not pretty. The decorations are a variety of “kid-friendly” ornaments collected over the years. After the third time the tree toppled over, everything was just quickly tossed back up. I don’t think I would have left the tree in this condition b.c. (before cancer) Now my crooked Christmas tree makes me smile. It reminds me of my life over the past year. Last December I was going through high dose chemo in preparation for stem cell harvest and transplant. I stayed with my parents to be close to the hospital. My family had Christmas without me. It was extremely hard for all of us. Just like our Christmas tree, my life is not perfect. My home is not perfect. My clothes are not expensive and my car is not shiny, or brand new. Just like my tree I occasionally fall down and I need someone to prop me back up... but this December I am here in my home with my Christmas decorations, my Christmas music and with my crooked Christmas tree. I am here to be apart of “something always happening at our house.” I am here to enjoy Christmas parties, and visits with friends and relatives. I am here to soak in the love of my husband and children. I am here to celebrate the birth of our Savior who came to earth to atone for ours sins and to bless us with his spirit. To strengthen us in our challenges and to provide us with opportunities to help prop each other up. Our lives, like my Christmas tree, might never be perfect. I think what matters more are the people who are around the tree. Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year

CAT problems

Several weeks ago we had CAT problems! One evening after going to bed we heard a kitten crying outside the bedroom window. My husband went outside and looked for the kitten. He figured it must have ran off because the mewing had stopped. So we went to sleep til about 11:30pm when it started up again. Luckily my 17yr. old son had just come in and we asked him to see if he could find it. He went downstairs into the bathroom and opened up the window where the kitten was stuck in the window well. As soon as he reached to grab it, The scared kitten jumped out of his hands into the bathroom and down some duct work under the counter that did not have a vent cover on it. " Just great!" now we had a scared kitten running around in the duct work of our basement. My son put some food and water by the hole, shut the door and hoped it would come out in the night. Well it apparently did come out because some of the food was gone, but climbed back in the hole and wandered around-- for two days! We heard it "crying" in another area of the basement-- for two days! We never saw the cat but it did continue to come out for food and water and then quickly went back into the black hole--for two days! Some thing had to be done! The last thing we needed was a dead cat in the heat and duct work. It was time for an "official family meeting" to solve this problem. Several ideas were discussed. We laughed at some of the more outrageous ones. Everyone had an opinion. Finally this is what we came up with. After several attempts it finally worked! A rubbermaid container, a stick, and tuna fish....... And that- my friends- has nothing to do with cancer!!

Laying Low

My how time flies when your having fun! It is already December! Blogging as well as many other things were put on "the back burner" during the past few weeks. The month of November was pretty tough. I relished the good days but they were few and far between. Chemo treatments, adjusting to some changes in medications, and a stubborn sinus infection which refused to leave kept me down. I am hoping and praying that things will improve. The Doctor put me on monthly IVIG (immunoglobulin) treatments which should increase my immunities and help keep away these pesky infections. I have to keep reminding myself that all of these drugs and treatments are to help me. They are the prickly friends who are searching for the enemy lurking in the bone marrow. May they be mean and nasty to the hard-to-kill cancer cells and kind and gentle to my tired body.

Happy Cancer Day

One year ago today I was diagnosed with cancer. This morning my husband wished me "Happy Cancer Day." Wow what a year! Who would have thought a year ago that: I could give myself a shot (a blood thinner) every night without even flinching. That I would lose all my hair... twice. That I would finally get down below my "goal weight".....and then gain it all back. That I can lay down during the morning, afternoon, and evening... and not fill guilty. That I can impress family and friends with a list a page long of all the medications I take. That I know more about cancer than anyone should have to. Who would have thought a year ago that I would even know what multiple myeloma is. Wow what a year! We celebrated by meeting with my Doctor at Huntsman. Last week I had an MRI, blood work, and another biopsy. Today we went over the results. Everything looks good and "my numbers" are where they are supposed to be. We celebrated by going to lunch. Maybe tomorrow I'll bake a cake.

I GOT A TICKET TO RIDE!

Welcome to my rollercoaster. 

 (that's me and my son on the 2nd row in the first picture and another son and my husband on the first row in the 2nd pic. Yea for Disneyland!)

I am on maintenance therapy for a whole year!!! I am just finishing up the third cycle-nine more to go! This consists of a quick IV push of Velcade on days 1 and 4 and 15 and 18. It's basically chemo two times every other week. I am also on Dexamethasone-a steriod during those weeks and Thalidomide everyday.  

Some of you may remember hearing about this drug.  It was used in Europe in the 50's and early 60's as an anti nausea drug for pregnant women.  It then cost less than $2.00 a pill. It caused terrible birth defects and was taken off the market.  About twenty years ago it was discovered that it kills myeloma cells. It now costs over $5100 a month-thank you insurance!  I have to take a test and survey every month to assure the drug maker-Celegene that I am not pregnant-fun! 

   All of these drugs include side effects and a free ticket to ride the roller coaster.  The games begin on the Monday of Velcade when I am at the top of the ride. By Thursday I go in for my second dose and I am heading down the track faster and faster.  "okay just relax and take a deep breathe," I say to myself as my energy drains and my stomach begins to churn (not too bad they have good drugs for that) I get chubby checks and a red face.  I get shaky and achy from the steriod and have a hard time sleeping. My hands and feet go numb and tingly.  By the weekend I am dragging and hit the bottom of the track physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Do I raise my hands high in the air and scream as I go down or continue the white-knuckle grip through the whole ride? Is this the time to hold on tight or the time to let go?  Let go of the fear and  remind myself that things will get better. To draw close to God and rely on faith in him.  To replace the "death grip" of fear with faith in God and his plan for me.  I am slowly learning. 

 Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.

 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus.”

    I Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God; that he may exalt you in due time, Casting  all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 

"Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that we could go through life scared. Jesus died to take away our sins and our fears. He died to give us hope, to give us life, to give us something, often the only thing, we can trust with complete assurance."The Secret to Riding Roller Coasters  by Randall Willard ----(you can read it on the internet)

I am learning to reach for his hand as I descend down the track. Then I start "clackity clackity clack, slowly heading back up about Tuesday.  I can feel myself getting stronger each day and try to be somewhat productive as I clack back up the track.  Preparing myself for the next round the following Monday.  

WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER!!  

I am learning to plan my life around this ride with safety belts that never unlock to let you off! Couldn't I just hop on over to a happy little merry-go-round for a change in this crazy amusement park?

    I asked the nurse if my body would adjust and this would get easier.  To my dismay she said it will actually get harder because the Velcade will continue to build up in my body as the treatment continues. Yuck!  

  I do feel stronger on the off weeks as my body continues to recover from the stem cell transplants but I don't think I will be off running any marathons anytime soon. I consider the day a success if I can make dinner and do a load of laundry. 

  I know several people have wondered why I have to do this since I am in Complete remission.  Complete remission means there are no signs of active myeloma.  This treatment will hopefully kill off all the "sleeper cells" lurking inside my body.  The stem cell transplants and high dose chemo wacked off the dandelions now we go in for the roots.  

   This plan of attack we have chosen is the most aggressive form of treatment used in the U.S.  Most major cancer centers including the Mayo Clinic prefer using several different lower dose chemo drugs until they prove ineffective and then resort to one stem cell transplant.  

We chose to go with the most aggressive Total therapy 3 treatment.  Where you throw everything possible at the cancer before the cells know what hit them and have a chance to adapt.  Some studies show that this promises a longer remission which buys time until a cure is found.  

There is a lot of research and clinical studies being done.  New myeloma drugs are coming out about every six months.  There is much hope that a cure is coming.  I have to hope that that is the case.  

My husband is by my side on this ride, holding my hand as we race down this track together.  He constantly amazes me with his strength and ability to juggle so many things.  This is not any easier for him. So here we are riding this rollercoaster together, adjusting to this life, and relying on our family, friends and faith to pull us through and.... learning when to let go. 

What a ride! Wish us luck!

Reading Time

"The Mountain time is good for that as well, to make us think of the happiness in small things, to promise that we will savor each moment..."

              Beyond the Dragon Portal by Melissa Glenn Haber

PLenTy of NeW BeGinNinGs

   My kids are back in school.  I love this time of year.  There are plenty of new beginnings, fall weather, and high school football games.  

   Last week was an Open House for the elementary school.  I took my youngest son to meet his teacher and see his classroom.  We marched into his room and I proceeded to introduce myself to his 5th grade teacher.  I begin to explain that last year was a pretty tough year for our family and before I knew it I became a little emotional.  It was totally unexpected.  I had to take a few breaths before I could continue and explain the situation.  It didn't come out to clear and I ended up telling her I would email her with the details.  How do I explain how much I have worried about my son?

    This last school year as I was going through chemotherapy, two stem cell transplants, and living away from home for months at a time,  my husband and I were literally in "survival mode."I constantly worried about and prayed for my children.  I was the most concerned about Spencer my youngest.  He is my "baby."  He has a learning disability.  Central Auditory   Processing Disorder.  He can hear just fine but he has trouble processing information.  For example when he hears information about a horse he doesn't know whether to file it in his brain under horse or animal, or a form of transportation.  He had great teachers last year and he did make progress but it was hard to stay on top of things at home.

   I worry about all my kids.  A ten year old shouldn't have to worry about their mom.  He even asked me one time how long I was going to live.  I told him I am young, I have good Doctors, and I am doing everything I can possibly do so that I can be around as long as I can.   Probably till he is all grown up and has children of his own.  It was hard.

    I worry about my fourteen year old son.  This summer he went away for a week to summer camp.  Something must have happened up in the high Uintah Mountain air because when he came back his voice began cracking all the time.  My usual mild mannered boy occasionally turns into a monster unable to control his emotions.  This is not the best combination with a mom on chemo, and steriods.  I am learning that sometimes it is best to go in the other room and bite my tongue.  I love him and we are learning to enjoy the good times.

   I worry about my son Jace.  He is a senior at Maple Mountain High School.  A brand new school.  He is heavily involved in Student Council, Seminary Council, and Football.  I am just trying to keep track of him  at this point.  I just hope that he is making good choices.  Last year was pretty tough for him.  I felt so bad that I was unable to attend any of his wrestling matches.  I missed out on a lot.  

  I worry about my daughter Mallory.  No nineteen year old should have to drive their mother to the infusion room of the hospital and then watch as they administer chemo into her IV.  She had a pretty tough time last year.  She moved away from home to go to college.  Luckily it was only twenty minutes away from home.  She spent a lot of time back at home taking care of her younger brothers, shopping, taking care of their needs, and helping her dad.  She still managed to do well in school.

   I am finding that you never stop worrying about your children.  My oldest son is married, working and going to school.  His life with his wife just started when mine came crashing down.  I hope to be able to be more involved with them as my health improves.  

   I hope that through all of this my children have learned some valuable lessons that will have a positive impact on their lives.  That they have learned compassion, responsibility, and to rely more on their family.  That even though mom and dad won't always be there to listen to them, or solve their problems, they can always rely on God who listens and answers prayers in the way that is best.  That faith can replace the fear.  And that true happiness comes from making good choices  living a life with integrity, and doing your homework!

   So yes this past year has been pretty tough but it's time to move on.  Its time for new beginnings, beautiful fall weather, and a few good high school football games.

Summer

Summer is quickly coming to an end and my children are ready to go back to school.  Mom hasn't been too entertaining these days.  But I am adjusting to this new phase of treatment and learning to plan my life around the good weeks and bad weeks.  

  We have been able to do a few fun things together.

We went to Salt Lake City and visited This is the Place Monument and Heritage Park.  We stayed at a nice Hotel, The kids swam three times, had dinner at a Thai restaurant-delicious! and went to a lazer show.  Then we went to a family reunion the next day.  It was nice and relaxing to be together.

Some "rare" birds

In June we went to Star Valley, Wyoming. My favorite place. Stayed at the family cabin.  There's beautiful scenery, fresh crisp air and lots of room for kids and dogs to run.

Middle of the Night

"It's 3am and I can't sleep standin' on the edge of something much too deep."                                                                                                Sarah McClachlan

Actually It's "Dex week"  This steriod messes with my nerves, sleep, and patience.  But it does crazy things to cancer cells and the proteins they live off of.  So my family puts up with me.

         

        In the middle of the night here is what I think.

We are all lined up in heaven watching earthly gifts being handed out as people leave for earth.  Up ahead someone says, "Who wants cancer?"  I mistakenly hear "who wants answers?" I jump up and down, raise my hand high in the air and say. "I do, I do, Give me a big one!"  

P. S.  My hair is growing back!

Back in the High life Again?

 Today I am sitting on a beautiful green mountain top feeling a slight breeze while the smell of wild flowers wafts across my face and blows through my long, thick, curly, blonde hair (hey it’s my daydream!) The white puffy clouds dot the blue sky.  

    Today is a day of rest and reflection. My family and I have been looking forward to this moment for over nine long dark months.  It is a day to peer down off this steep mountain peak and realize how far I have climbed.  I am tired.  I am thirsty.  I have blisters and battle wounds but today, “I made it to this mountain peak and the mountain’s under me.” 

    We met with Dr. Tricot yesterday. I “aced” my tests and scans! All the results indicate that there are no signs of any active myeloma cells. I am in complete remission! 

    Now I wish I could dance through the field of daisies like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music and say this is the end of my journey.  It is the end of days and weeks living away from the family.  It is the end of aggressive, high dose chemo, and two stem cell transplants but it is not time to retire my hiking boots yet.

       I will still be undergoing maintenance therapy for the next year.

This involves four chemo injections a month of Velcade, along with a steriod drug, Dexamethesone, and Thalidomide an “anti-cancer” medication. The Doctor explains that   this regimen will kill off the “sleeper cells” lurking in my body and give me the possibilities of a much longer remission.  

     I haven’t felt “normal” for over a year. I told Dr. Tricot that I would love to go off all the medication for a couple weeks to see what I feel like without any side effects.  He laughed and explained in his Belgium accent,  “You must remember what our objective is, you haven’t reached the finish line yet, but you are doing everything possible to get there and the rest is out of our hands.”

     These words brought me comfort and assurance that this dark, difficult journey for our family has been worth it.  That I have scaled this steep, sharp, rocky mountain knowing that I am doing everything I can possibly do to reach the top and to extend and improve my life.  The rest is in God’s hands.  

      I am tired.  I am thirsty.  I have blisters and battle wounds but today, “I made it to this mountain peak and the mountain’s under me.” 

Test Day

    Tomorrow is test day.  Joe and I will head up to Huntsman to see exactly how much progress has been made through chemo, two stem cell transplants, and specialized drugs.

     I will have lab tests run first, and bring in a 24 hr. urine collection (fun :0)  Then a bone marrow biopsy and aspirate.  If you want to see what this involves, there are some great videos on Youtube.  None of my sons were brave enough to watch, but my daughter and I watched them twice.

   I will also have a combination PET/CT scan.  This procedure takes about three hours, because first  they must inject you with a small tracer quanity of radioactive material that is attached to a sugar which goes to the metabolically active parts of your body.  You have to sit in a recliner in a quiet room for 45 minutes to give the sugar time to get where it needs to be before the procedure.  

   One time I brought a book to read, but the nurse told me I couldn't read because then all the particles would go to the brain. interesting.

    After a peaceful rest,  you are lead to the room with the big tunnel machine.  The nurse shows you where to lay down.  The blanket covered "bed," is abut 12 inches wide.  So you lay down with no place for your arms. Do I lay them across my chest or let them dangle to the floor? Then the nurse steps in with big black velcro straps.  She straps your legs together below the knees.  Then straps your arms closely to your body.  "snug as a bug in a rug!"

     That's the easy part.  "Let the magic show begin!" Now you must lie perfectly still for 45 minutes to an hour as the bed moves through the tunnel.  

    What do I do?  Do I sleep?  What do I think about?  The first few times I went through this procedure my objective was to try  not to think about anything.  Because one thought would lead to another and ultimately end up rather quickly back to cancer.  Bringing fears and fighting back the tears.  

   Now my mind wanders all over during the scan.  Last time I could not get a John Denver song out of my head.  "Country Roads take me home to the place I belong...  The problem was I forgot most of the words, but kept starting over, ugh! very frustrating!!

    When the test is over and the straps are removed from "the Magic show," they point the way down the hall to the waiting room.  The only good thing, I've decided, about this whole day, is I don't have to worry now (since I've lost my hair) of getting up and walking out the door with "bedhead!"

    Well there is no last minute cramming for me.  We will get the results of the tests from Dr. Tricot next Wednesday.  Wish me Luck.  We are expecting the best.  I will keep you posted.

                                Love, Kris

Me and Myeloma facts

I have been pretty slack about writing-sorry.  I have been sooooo busy  what with summer gardening, painting my house, and training for my next marathon-not!

   Actually I have been enjoying the rainy weather, trying to do what I can around my house and trying harder to ignore the things I can't do, and considering a walk through the grocery store as my "marathon" training.  

   So now for the long anticipated update.  How am I doing?

Well that is a loaded question and the answer is prone to change hourly.  I am regaining my strength ever so slowly.  I guess I was getting a little too cocky last week thinking how lucky I was that I had not had any infections after this second transplant.  Alas that was not to be the case.  Last week Joe had a conference in Park City for two days and I was so excited to go with him.  Instead of spending some quality time together, I spent most of the time in the bathroom kneeling at the toilet.  I couldn't blame it on chemo so I assume I had picked up a stomach infection.

    The last few days I have been developing a sinus infection.  It's been a doozy and has really knocked me down physically.  There is nothing like getting sick to remind me that I need to be more careful with this weakened immune system that I have.  That is the nature of this beast multiple myeloma.  It is a cancer of the plasma cells within the bone marrow.  The cancerous cells crowd out the healthy plasma cells that help fight disease and infections.  

   Since we are on the subject of multiple myeloma I wanted to give you a few facts about this cancer because I have never really explained much about it and very few people even know what it is.

     Like I mentioned multiple myeloma is a cancer of the plasma cells.  It represents only 1% of all cancers.  It is most commonly found in older men.  It is called multiple myeloma because it affects multiple parts of the body.  The acronym CRAB helps me remember what they are.  The C stands for hyperCalcemia.  Calcium from the bone leaches into the blood stream.  If enough of it gets into the blood it can damage the kidneys or Renal system. The A stands for Anemia a common problem with mm. The B stands for Bone.  As the myeloma cells begin to multiply they start to eat into the bone causing lesions, and repeated fractures.  I was very lucky to not have any broken bones which is usually how mm is diagnosed. However I do have numerous lesions or weak spots throughout my body.  I have an infusion once a month to harden the bones.

   Multiple Myeloma is treatable but is not curable yet.  There are several different approaches to treatment.  My Doctor takes the "hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast" approach.

Thus the high dose chemo and two stem cell transplants.  We were able to knock off most of the myeloma cells through this, but my doctor explains that there are "sleeper cells" lurking which we have to get rid of through maintenance chemo shots and anti-cancer drugs and a steriod throughout the next year. 

   So the question is How am I doing.  Well I made it to the top of this first mountain range but I am not done mountain climbing yet.  Every step through this journey has been hard.  It has affected every facet of my being. It has made me grieve for the life and body that I had, but truly appreciate the many good things in my life I still have. I look forward to renewed health and a happy future.

My Life Preservers

 After reading my previous blog,  I realized that I had failed to mention one of the greatest blessings in all of this.  My parents!  I don’t know what we would have done without them.  Luckily they live just 20 miles from Huntsman; a true blessing while I am required to be close to the Hospital during testing, treatments and recovery.  I can not even imagine how we would have managed without them. Having them live conveniently near the hospital has been wonderful, however they have done so much more than that.

    My parents have given me life twice.  Once when I was born; the only girl in a family of four boys. (ironically just like the family I am raising) And now they give me life again through the many sacrifices they have made to get me through these last several months. 

     They raised me in a home filled with love.  They taught us life skills I am grateful for now.  Both teachers, they worked hard to care for a big family and made sure we knew how to work hard.  We spent many happy summers in my favorite place-Star Valley, Wyoming, working and playing in the hay fields and woods.

     They have been with me every step of the way.  From the moment we found out the plan, they have adjusted their lives to help my family and I manage all of this.   My dad bought a new car that would be easier and safer to drive into Salt Lake everyday for appointments and treatments.  He  made sure it had good snow tires and was heated before I got in during December when I had to be at the hospital by 7am every morning for over a week.  My dad has taken turns taking me to appointments-He takes the shorter ones :) and gets things done around the house when my mom is with me.  

     My parents just bought a trailer home in St. George last year and were anxious to get down their and enjoy it. They put all their plans on hold without a second thought.  My dad is one of my life preservers!

    My mom has spent her life caring for her children. She cooked, canned, sewed and worked full time.  Although she was a 4th grade teacher for many years,  I think her second career has been that of a nurse. She has spent countless hours in hospitals over the years attending to the needs of our family with broken bones, health problems, and serious life-threatening accidents. Well her experience comes in handy once again as she takes care of me.

     She has spent many, many hours in the waiting room and infusion room by my side.  Her life has been completely consumed with me and my needs.  She probably knows more about my disease than I do as she researches and stays on top of what I should be doing each step of the way.  She spent everyday of my ten day hospital stay with me even though I wasn’t good company and manages to whip up healthy meals for me even  though I could only take a few bites.  My mother has given her life to give me a second life.  She is one of my life preservers!

     How can I ever express the love and gratitude I feel for my parents.  I ask the Lord to bless them everyday for the sacrifices they make on my behalf, and hope that I can be there for them whenever they may need my help.

      I Love you both and am so grateful to be your daughter.  Thank you for all you have done for me now and throughout my life. You have supported me every step of the way.  You are my life preservers in every sense of the word.  Love, your daughter, Kristine

Doggy Paddlin'

I have lots of time to think lately. I try to avoid it as much as possible but sometimes as the hours and days drag by I find myself stuck in a thought or idea with nothing to do but pursue it. 

    Before I had cancer. I was very good at avoiding such scary and difficult topics. It was too depressing to think of what it would be like if something like that ever happened to me or someone I loved. In fact I doubt I would even read a blog like this one unless it was someone I was very close to. Much easier to avoid such a sad topic.        I compare it to an icy cold lake. I would walk near the water’s edge and maybe dip my toes in the cold water but I am not a very good swimmer so I would only swim near the shallow area where I can still touch the bottom. Never think of venturing out to the deep areas too distant from the safe shore.       Well seven months ago someone came and threw me out in the middle of the lake. I spluttered and thrashed and doggy paddled trying to come to grips with this new reality and not drown in the overwhelming circumstances I have been thrown into. I am not superwoman and there are times when I come close to drowning in self pity. In fact today I made a list in my journal of all the things I have lost because of cancer. As my list grew the tears begin to flow. In fact, I think that lake is made of the tears I have cried over the last seven months. Sitting there looking at my list a thought came to me like a light bulb turning on. I wasn’t left alone in the deep waters of the lake. The Lord had thrown out some life preservers before I even got there. He had prepared some things in my life before cancer became my reality.       I can look back and see things being orchestrated in a way that makes this journey more bearable. I think of the timing. If I had been diagnosed a year earlier, I would have been going through treatments during preparations for my sons marriage. I would have missed my daughters High school graduation. Because of the circumstances this year, my daughter was able to arrange her college schedule so she could help more at home.      In September we moved our Martial Arts studio from a studio in our back yard to main street. Eventually making it easier to rearrange my preschool after my diagnosis. My oldest son has been able to help run the studio. I was able to hire a preschool teacher who would eventually count on the income when her husband lost his job several months later. Also for the first year ever, there is an assistant principal at the school where my husband is principal. Thereby lightening his load. And probably the biggest one is the fact that my Dr.- Dr. Tricot a top Myeloma Researcher and Specialist in the country moved from Arkansas to Huntsman a year and a half ago. Those are just a few examples of the little miracles or life preservers that were put in place before I even got thrown out in this lake.       I am still out in the deep, and the water is still cold, but I have a life preserver and the Lord is watching out for me. I have to quite thrashing around so much and trust in the Lord. He has a plan for me and He makes preparations on my behalf before I am even aware of it.       I am a terrible swimmer and a slow learner. I am sure there will be days ahead where I will still be doggy paddlin’ and “cryin’ a river” in my cold lake, but for today I am going to make another list in my journal of some of the life preservers I have been given and practice the back stroke.

One day at a time

Well here I am 33 days out from my second transplant. What a journey it has been. Harder than I ever dreamed it would be. I am gaining my health back ever so slowly! Last Wednesday I was able to go home for a few days. It was Joe's birthday so my daughter came and got me and snuck me home. Joe was completely surprised when he walked in the house and saw me there. It was so good to be home. I was able to get a few things done while I lay in bed. It was tempting to stay, however after a couple days we knew I was not yet ready physically, emotionally, or mentally. So I am back up to my parents home. I am trying to be patient with myself. Every morning I want to just jump out of bed and move doing the normal routines in a day. Instead I slowly shuffle around the house and spend most of my time resting as my body continues to regain it's strength. Joe reminds me to just take it one day at a time.

Preschool Plug

I am starting to think beyond one day at a time and beginning to plan my future. I have put serious thought into my plans for preschool next year. I am told that my immunities as well as my energy level will still remain quite low for another year. So with that information I have made the decision to hire one of my past preschool teachers to run my preschool for me next year.  Hopefully after the new year I may be able to help.  Teresa has taught for me for four years and I have great confidence in her abilities to take this ball and run with it. So If you or anyone you know is interested please let them know. Here is a little information about my program Kris Kelly-/teacher/owner  Certified Teacher-BYU graduate Taught at BYU's Preschool Lab.  Has over 16 years experience teaching  and developing preschool curriculum. Several of her teaching ideas have been published in a national educational  magazine. Loves finding innovative ways to teach young children and seeing them progress as they learn new skills.

Teresa Veater-teacher

Veteran Preschool teacher with over 22 years experience working with preschoolers in the classroom as well as Nebo School District's Transistional Kindergarten program. Her organized yet gentle approach will help your child to gain independence and educational skills for future success.

Country Kids Preschool

is an established preschool in Spanish Fork for the past fourteen years.  We offer a full academic program in a unique preschool setting.  A classroom as well as a large gym area provide many opportunities to educate the whole child.

We offer;

*Developmentally appropriate activities with a hands on approach.

*Small class sizes, 8-10 children per class.

*Thematic units organized to teach basic skills while learning about the world around us.

*Monthly parent newsletter and calendar.

*Alphabet introduction focuses on using all the senses to explore recognize, and remember the letters and sounds.

*Math and number exploration through manipulatives, patterning, sorting, and calendaring.

*Large and fine motor skill practice through games and activities.

Two and three day sessions available

Contact Teresa 801-423-1888

or Kris 801-798-6146  for more info.

(Thanks for letting me share and advertise this important part of my life)

99.9%

I met with Dr. Tricot this morning. All my lab work came back with great results. The myeloma cells are 99.9% gone and my white blood cells, hemoglobin, and platelets have recovered significantly. If I had more energy I would be jumping for joy. I am now set to begin maintenance therapy for the next year. Hopefully I can recover quickly enough to begin enjoying it. Strangely enough my biggest issue right now is food! I just have no appetite. I have been on anti nausea medication but it makes me so tired. Now I am trying medicine to increase my appetite. How I ironic! I've spent my whole life trying to lose those last ten pounds and now I have to force myself to eat and gain weight! This afternoon I was pleasantly surprised by a visit from my husband. I didn't think I would get to see him and the kids until Sunday, but he drove up and spent a few hours with me today. He always lifts my spirits and gives the best back rubs. I could not ask for a better husband, father to our children, and best friend. I know this year has been so hard for him. Having to juggle responsibilities as a school principal, running a martial arts studio, being there for our kids and just making sure everything keeps running smoothly. I always knew he was amazing but now I know he is definitely my super hero! All my Love Joe, Love, Kris