Showing posts from August, 2011

You Can't Get Better Than Zero!

The glass doors swoosh and blow a little air into my face as I leave the underground parking lot and enter the hospital headed for the elevators.  I always push the “up” button with the middle joint of my middle finger. Have you ever thought of how many germs have accumulated on those elevator buttons? ! I am much more cautious about such things now.   No matter how many times I have entered these doors, rode this elevator, headed for floor number 2, clinic B.  I always think back of my first visit.  It has been 33 months.  Almost three years.  This place used to be my battle zone.  Today I just want to put all of that behind me.  Today I see if I have won the war. The elevator doors open and I leave my dark memories behind.  I step into the beautiful lobby and almost feel at home as I enter the clinic.  I know many of the nurses and employees by name and even more by face.  I haven’t  been here for six months; I used to spend so much of my life here in the beginning.   These people kn

Dex Reflections

DEX REFLECTIONS   by Kris Kelly 8/25/10 I sit in the warm grainy sand. Back and forth I massage my tingly toes and feet in the warmth of the grains. Messaging my mind with myeloma thoughts. Always there when my world is quiet. The hot sun warms my cold bones, my chemo curls. The hot sun melts into my parched skin dried from drugs, and side effects. I don’t recognize parts of this body anymore. Portraits from my past are just faint ripples of my reflection in the water now. My youthful appearance changes as the effects of dex puff and fluff shaking my nerves, my hands, my patience. The dex waves this week seem stronger. The foaming swirls swoosh up to my ankles. lapping at my soul. threatening to overcome my positive thoughts my marching-forward-attitude, my sunshine. I breathe deep, sleep more, try to protect my children from my pain. I’m hiding my slacking energy behind the strong shoulders of my beloved. I breathe, I wait, I pray, and then... The draining dex waves slink back into t