February 23, 2009

I am blessed

It was a long weekend. I have had a slight cold, some weird eye infection, and various other strange symptoms, but never did get a fever -thank goodness. However it did knock my energy level and my attitude back down. By Sunday morning I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. That afternoon my family came home from church and we ate a great dinner prepared by my great husband. After dinner we gathered around the livingroom and my husband and oldest son administered the sacrament and my 13 yr old son passed it to me. The sacrament has never meant so much to me as it did yesterday. As I listened to the words and the promises we make and those we recieve- to have His spirit with us, I felt very blessed! After the sacrament, my son, who holds the Melchezidek priesthood, the same priesthood held by Christ and then restored to Joseph Smith by Peter, James, and John, gave me a blessing. He spoke beautiful words of comfort, peace, and direction-words that came from a loving Heavenly Father. I felt very blessed! I am feeling much better today. Ready to start climbing that mountain again. I am not climbing alone. I have a wonderful family, many amazing friends and neighbors, prayer, and the power of the priesthood in my home. I am blessed!

February 18, 2009

I am Fortunate

My son brought a fortune cookie home for me today. My fortune said: "You will overcome difficult times."

February 15, 2009

Choosing the Better Part

I've always been a doer. You know the one who is in the background getting things done. Folding up the chairs after a meeting, Sewing 26 pioneer bonnets for the Youth pioneer trek, Clearing the dinner dishes as soon as a meal is finished. I tend to get caught up in the details of life. I'm a list maker. No fun shall be had until the house is clean. My how things have changed! As I lay in bed or shuffle around the house, I am trying to learn to ignore the little things. The dishes in the sink will eventually get done. The floor will eventually get swept. It's hard! My kids and husband have really pitched in. When we had our fifth child a friend told us we needed to lower our standards (on clutter) and have a sense of humor. Well that advice seems to fit perfectly right now. I guess it won't kill anyone that my 13 yr old son had ice cream for breakfast the other day and my ten year old went to church without any socks on. What matters is that I am here and can hug them as they go out the door to school, and talk to them when they get home. I am learning to put things in prospective. I have always been like the woman in the New Testament. Martha and I are so much alike. Like me she worried about the little things. In Luke 10:42, Jesus speaks of one thing being needful: “And Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Have I chosen what is good, lasting, and eternal? Have I separated the trivial from the important? I am learning, as I go, to decide how I use my limited energy and what I worry about. It is a long process. We can learn from Mary and Martha to prioritize our lives-to put the things that are most important first in our lives. May we each gain an eternal perspective in our everyday lives and choose the better part. Love, Kris

February 14, 2009

Play the Song "Keep Holding On" while you read this.
A couple of weeks ago as I moved back up to Centerville to began treatments, My husband gave me a box. On the outside was a note saying I was to wait to open it until I was really missing him. It only took a couple days; I couldn't wait anymore. Inside I found a small CD player with ear phones and a CD. A note, and the words to this song.We have been married for over twenty four years and my husband is always surprising me with candy, cards, and gifts. This is probably the most touching gift he has ever given me. He truly is my Knight in Shining Armour, My eternal companion, and my best friend.We are climbing this mountain together, just as we have lived, loved and raised our family. I could not do this without him! I know you will always be there to "fight and defend" for me and our family. All My Love, Kris

February 10, 2009

Two steps forward, One step back

It's been two steps forward and one step back the last several days. On Saturday I felt extremely achy, fatigued and developed a fever. We ended up going to the emergency room that evening where I was given some IV antibiotics then sent home. The next morning we headed up to Huntsman, They ran tests and could not find any signs of infection. We decided I needed to stay at my parents for a few days while I grew stronger. I went in today for a Dr. visit feeling much better and was given the clearance once again to go back home. Things could have been much worse and I feel blessed that whatever caused my fever left quickly. So tomorrow I will head back home and attempt once again to regain my health and strength. To take some time to rest and regroup before I start climbing the next mountain in this journey. Thanks Jill for the great quote! " If there is anything good to be said about cancer, anything at all, it is this: the battle to overcome the mental and physical harm being done is the ultimate wake-up call, the ultimate focusing lens, and the final impetus to prioritize life." Johnom

February 04, 2009

I'm Home!

After meeting with my doctor on Monday and finishing up some tests on Tuesday, I was given "clearance" to go home. It feels so good to be here with my family even though I am not up to doing much yet. My orders from my Doctor are to stay away from sick people and crowds, eat only cooked foods, exercise, and get myself as healthy as possible over the next two months so I can do it all again. In April I will have a second stem cell transplant. My posts might not come as often as I concentrate on getting myself healthy, regaining my strength, and enjoying my family and everyday life. Once again Thank you for all of your support.

February 01, 2009

Engraftment

I went in to Huntsman yesterday, after lab results came back, I was informed that my stem cells have engrafted. They are now working within the bone morrow, growing, and doing what they are supposed to. My body is slowly regaining strength. There are a few lingering side effects, but I feel extremely blessed to have gotten through this relatively easy compared to most of the other patients. I never did get a fever, or have to be admitted to the hospital I can feel myself starting to come out of the fog I have been in and I am able to think beyond the next hour or day. I meet with Dr. Tricot on Monday. He will access my lab results and then most likely give me permission to return to my home for two months. I am excited and relieved to have made it this far. I am also quite apprehensive. I thought when I got to the top of this mountain, I would be ecstatic and jumping for joy. I am finding that just like anything in life-When You reach a goal, life doesn't stop right there. (I will be happy when I graduate from college, get this new job, make a certain amount of money, etc.)Happiness does not come at the end of the journey, but along the way. Everyone of us are climbing mountains, dealing with challenges, facing disapointments, some through our own choices, others as a result of another's choice. How we deal with them as we go through them is just as important as overcoming them. I have learned so much as I have attempted to "Move this Mountain" but what I find now as I reach the top and look out over the horizon is that this is not one mountain standing alone. There is a whole mountain range ahead of me. This startled and shocked me as I first realized this. I have been so focused on getting through each day-thinking if I could just get to the top, I will be okay. This thought process is probably the only way I could have got through this, but now it is time to look ahead and realize that my challenge is no different than those facing all of us. The Lord did not just give us one trial in life and then a nice little valley to settle in for the rest of our life. He continues to give us opportunities to stretch and grow and then when we ask He helps us Move our Mountains one at a time. God has promised us that He will not desert us. The Prophet Isaiah speaks, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10) "For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying, unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." (Isaiah 41:13) Each of us have unique trials and challenges. Through these the Lord gives us opportunities to stretch and grow. I just happen to have cancer which gives me time to examine my beliefs and study, learn and grow. May each of us turn to the Lord as he blesses us through our adversities.

What I Needed Someone to Tell Me

  Painting "Hinds Feet" by Daniel F. Gerhartz Two women I know were diagnosed with cancer this week.  My heart goes out to them an...