Early Thursday morning I woke up and seriously considered calling everything off. “I think I will just just sit down in the dirt and slide down this mountain on my butt!” I did not want to walk into that hospital and start another round of chemo! This is seriously not very fun anymore!! The first time around I did not know what to expect, now I know too much. But I guess there is no way out of this--but up so it is time to start climbing again.
I had several high dose rounds of chemo on Thursday and then went in this morning for my second stem cell transplant. The procedure is fairly simple. After receiving a short saline IV, I was given a transfusion of my previously stored stem cells, then two more hours of saline. The cells are stored in a DMSO solution as a preservative. The minute it hits your body, you get a metalic, garlicky taste in your mouth and an interesting odor-which my family did not enjoy.
My husband, my daughter, and one of my sons came with me to celebrate this second “Stem Cell Birthday.” It will take several days for the cells to begin working, and my body is beginning to slow down. This afternoon my face, hands, and feet began to swell. I look like a pink lobster.
I have probably had cancer for several years. I have know about it for over five months. I am still in shock about it everyday. This mountain is very steep!! and some days this climb is on my knees, but I still have lots of life to live and enjoy, lots of family and friends to love, and many lessons and blessings to receive from my Savior.
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8 comments:
Hey Kris,
Were here praying for you we will all be here to push you up that mountain. You have so much courage we know you can do it!
Love, Cherie
Hey Kris,
Were here praying for you. Were all her to help push you up that mountain. You have so much courage we know you'll make it.
Love, Cherie
Thinking of you!
I am going to church this morning. While I am there, I will light a candle for you and say a prayer. It is what I can do for you now. And I am willing to do everything I can.
Your role is much harder. Keep an eye out for God and another for your children - one is the reason to live, the other your means to do so.
It will be over before you know it...and you will be on the downside of the climb, nearer the end of your journey.
I, too, climbed a mountain last year (a real one, which is easier than this figurative one!) and you wanna know the best part???? Its the part when the journey is done, when you meet those that are just starting up on the same path you just came down, and you say to them, "Do you see that very highest peak up there?...No, no, not that one...the one a little further away...that is where I just came from. And it is where you are going." And the person says, "Wow. That's really far...I don't know that I can do that." They are younger and more fit, or older and in worse shape. They will come in every form...but you will be able to say, "Look at me. I am Kris Kelly, a mom, a teacher, a friend...nothing superhuman. And I climbed that mountain. And I did it by myself. You can do it too." And in that moment the other person chooses to go on another step to the top.
It is even more important when you need to give hope to someone you love.
So, while I can't carry you to the top of this mountain, I beleive in your power to get there and back. To get there, and to look back and say to others, "Look, I've been there and the trip was hard...but, ultimately, it was worth every step."
Spencer's graduation. His wedding day. Mallory in her wedding gown. Lunch with friends. Idle chat over the backyard fence. Preschool children. Grandchildren. Time alone with someone who loves you.
Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Pray. Keep going. Keep going.
You keep traveling, and I will be praying for your safe return home.
I love that you put your family didn't enjoy the smell. I read Mallory's blog update right before yours and was laughing so hard about "creamed corn" - nothing like a good sense of humor!! :)
I have been thinking about you a lot these last couple of days. Mike and I went to Southern Utah for the weekend and did some hiking. One of my biggest fears is heights, I faced my fears face on this weekend and pushed myself further then I ever thought possible. All the while thinking of you and your mountain that you continue to climb. Several times I was on my hands and knees ready to turn around, I knew I had too beat "my mountain" once I reached the top I was glad that I had not given up. The view from the top was worth it!!
I know that your mountain is a lot harder to climb then mine was, but I also know that if anyone can reach the top of the mountain you can!!!
Hang in there
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Melinda
Kris, when I read this it brought tears to my eyes. I want you to know how much I admire your strength. I know you feel like slidding down that mountain on your butt, I don't blame you. I appreciate your honesty. I know you can make it. We are all praying and thinking of you. Just hang on, remember summer, it will be here before you know it! I love you, may the Lord carry you quickly through these next few weeks. Joe called and told me you are back in the hospital. I pray for your comfort and relief. ginnie
Kris keep climbing! You are strong and you have so many friends and family rooting and praying for you. You are not alone.Our Heavenly Father is with you. He will not leave you comfortless.
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