One thousand and ninty five days ago today, we found out that I had cancer. The doctor said it was Multiple Myeloma. " Multiple what?" "It's a bone cancer," he replied and the rest is history.......
Well it has been three years since that dark day. I can't remember the name of the doctor, where his office was, or what he looked like. I never went back to him because he was not an oncologist. I can't remember what I wore, or ate, but some of the smallest details still stick in my brain.
"Could you please write down the name of the cancer for me?" I asked. He tried to explain more to Joe. I remember none of the conversation.
The memories of the day have stopped and started a million times over in my head through the last three years.
I think it is time now to decide exactly what to do with this day.
I need to decide if I should even remember it, honor it, or rip it off my calendar and tear it into a million tiny pieces never to be recognized again.
Fot the past three years, I have remembered this as a day I want to forget.
What do I do now?
I guess I can choose two ways of looking at this day.
ONE
As a time to look back and focus on the disbelief, shock, and terror from the day
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| Shock and Terror! |
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| Jace holding an Iguana in Puerto Rico. Now that's scarry! |
Two
I can use this day to help me rejoice and celebrate the Mountains I've climbed,
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| Here's Tabitha enjoying Autumn and Halloween |
The things I have learned.
The people who helped me get here.
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| My son Jace who is serving an LDS mission in Puerto Rico |
and the Gifts of Life that God has given me each of those one thousand and ninty five days.
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| Tabi and I enjoying a local Halloween celebration on Main Street. We passed out 80lbs. of candy from our martial arts studio! |
Today I Choose Two!
6 comments:
Two is definitely the best choice! You look wonderful and I pray you keep feeling well and living your life with hope and joy.
I'm glad you're choosing #2. We have to celebrate life!
Kris, look at you. You look great. You are such an inspiration to me. I am grateful that we were able to meet way back at Dr. Rich's office.
Kris,
You look amazing ... and Tabi is adorable. I'm sorry I haven't checked in on here in a while but I have been thinking of you. It looks like your family had a nice Halloween. Things are going well here in Virginia.
Brenda (Twede) van Gelder
Hi Kristine,
Thank you so much for your comments over on my blog. You are the first person with ONJ and MM that I have come across and it is so heartening to see you looking so well and happy on your blog - keep it up!
I absolutely love this post. It is where I hoped you would be at this moment.
Many moons ago I wrote a comment telling you that the day would come when you would be the one to look up at that mountain and say to the next person who needs hope, "Hey, I've been there. I made it back. And if I can do it, so can you." Well, my dear, I can joyfully say you have arrived.
There will still be up and down days, but as I look at Tabi with her grandma, I know I am glad you kept climbing. I am glad when it got hard, you kept going, used those reserves and trusted in God. You made it to see all of those things...Mallory getting married, your first grandbaby, a return missionary and one going out. You have seen your baby mature, and your husband love you like you never thought he could.
And you taught us that loving someone when times get hard is the best way to know someone else. I am enormously proud of you. And I plan to call you if I ever need a hiking buddy.
I know the journey was rough, but you lived to tell the tale of the beauty at the top...that distant peak few ever go. Thanks for sharing your story with us. It had mades every journey richer.
Love you much, -M.
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