DEX REFLECTIONS
by Kris Kelly 8/25/10
I sit in the warm grainy sand.
Back and forth I massage my tingly toes and feet in the warmth of the grains.
Messaging my mind with myeloma thoughts.
Always there when my world is quiet.
The hot sun warms my cold bones,
my chemo curls.
The hot sun melts into my parched skin
dried from drugs, and side effects.
I don’t recognize parts of this body anymore.
Portraits from my past are just faint ripples
of my reflection in the water now.
My youthful appearance changes as the effects
of dex puff and fluff shaking my nerves, my hands, my patience.
The dex waves this week seem stronger.
The foaming swirls swoosh up to my ankles.
lapping at my soul.
threatening to overcome my positive thoughts
my marching-forward-attitude, my sunshine.
I breathe deep, sleep more, try to protect my children from my pain.
I’m hiding my slacking energy behind the strong shoulders of my beloved.
I breathe, I wait, I pray, and then...
The draining dex waves slink back into the sea
and once again I can see the hidden gifts left behind
in the wet, cool, sand.
The shiny twisted shells of miracles.
Each one a unique blessing.
The life I have been given, the smooth, peaceful thoughts of family, love, God.
The tender mercies of my Saviour glistening among the grains.
and I arise stiffly, slowly and walk back to my world preparing for another round.
I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma October 2008. Dexamethasone was the first medication I was prescribed. I have been on this steroid continuously since then. Two weeks ago I finished up my last round of Dex. I go in for blood tests, a PET scan and a biopsy next week and then meet with my Oncologist at Huntsman a few days later. Assuming that my "numbers" are all good, I will be done with maintenance treatment!
I was feeling pretty poetic and somewhat dramatic as I wrote this poem a year ago. I just wanted to get down on paper what I felt on my "dex days."
4 comments:
Oh Happy Day! Hope you find all well at the Clinic next week. The poem is amazing. It was good to talk to you the other day, or week, or whenever it was. You take care.
Kris,
Congratulations with finishing up your maintenance schedule. I am praying with you that your tests results hold positive news for you.
Chin up . .
Vannette
You are my hero! You have fought a tough battle and we all pray that you will have the best results ever next week. You have taught us to be positive, and no matter what stay close to our Heavenly Father. Kiris I love you and I'm so glad to call you my friend.
It is good you have finished with the Dex and I am intending that your numbers are very good and your good cells are continuing to be healthy and well. It's time this mountain was MOVED!
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