May 03, 2009

I Can See Clearly Now

So much to express. So Little energy to do so! Yesterday-Saturday May 2nd, I was released from the U of U Hospital. I was there ten days. It is all a blur now-of pain, side effects, Trying to eat when my mouth is too sore to swallow. Trying to get up and move when I am too weak to stand. Trying to stay connected to my family when I can't remember anything. I feel like I have been in a big black hole that I am just now starting to find my way out of. Into sunshine and coherency. I have been told that I had about every side effect possible-Lucky me! One crazy one began right after the stem cell transplant when my hands and feet began to swell and turn red. They felt like when you freeze your hands out in the snow and then come into thaw them out and get that prickly pain feelng. I figure it felt like that for 30 hours without much pain relief. As soon as that began to subside and the skin began to peel off in big sheets than I was blessed with different side effects. This is all so crazy! I have always been very healthy. When I go to the hospital, I bring home a new baby! This time I bring home a new perspective, and new hope for a long remission and opportunities for a new life. I am so grateful for all those who have prayed for me. I know He listens to those prayers even when I am too weak to pray for myself. I am humbled by the kindness, concern, and love of others. Thank you.

8 comments:

Rochelle said...

Gald to see that you are able to post and that one more hurdle is behind you!

Book Girl said...

We are happy to know that you have returned home and are on your way to a long sustained recovery. Maybe we'll see you in clinc. Lynn and Steve

Saedi Oldham said...

Kris, I am so so sorry! That sounds too terrible to even comprehend! I'm so happy that you are making your recovery now! Let us know if we can do ANYTHING for you!!! Lots of love!

gramatv said...

Glad you were finally able to come home. Hopefully the worst is past, hang in there!!

Monica said...

I'm thrilled to see that you have moved out of the hospital. It is one more small step in the journey.

For some, the hospital is a safe haven where all the entrapments are available to take care of you should you need something. For others it is a dreaded place of desperation. I hope you view it as neither - instead I hope you see it as a resource for the things you needed on your journey - that emergency cache of supplies - a place to visit when you need something, a place of replentishment. Having now had your fill, it is time to move on.

In many ways you may be moving to rougher terrain. Unknown, less supported. Don't be scared, for there is nothing in the night that isn't there in the day. You can travel this path - you have done it before - have faith and confidence. Return to the cache if you need to, but know that you will make the rest of the journey now.

You are loved, my dear friend. Please keep climbing. Rest when you need to but I can see you coming down the path. Be careful of the uneven terrain - it may cause you to stumble. If you fall, say ouch to acknowledge the hurt. Then laugh because its better than crying. Get back up. Dust off. Look around to make sure no one saw you, and then keep on trodding along that path. (If someone does see you stumble, you have two options: 1)Make it look bad to illicit sympathy and help -this is a great way to see what someone else is made of- or 2) Pretend like you meant to do it!)
Pray. Rest. Breath. Do it again.
We will see you soon!

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